The backbone

It’s crazy how the people closest to us seem to know us better than we know ourselves.
They notice the subtle changes in our lives, they know what makes us smile, what makes us laugh, they know what makes us uncomfortable, what makes us sad and what keeps us on edge.
They seem to see things coming from a mile away whilst we just sit back and take the bullet when we don’t want to listen to their advice.

They know what’s right for us and what’s wrong, and no matter how much they to try to interfere we always feel as though they don’t know what they are talking about. They say a situation is going to turn out a certain way, and funny enough, in time they end up being 100% right.

As young people we feel as though we know everything and we often don’t leave our minds open to other possibilities. (The negative ones)
We think all our friends are pure, all our boyfriends are perfect and see seem to think that everything is going to last forever.
This isn’t always reality, and I think that’s the hardest thing we ever realise in life.
As we grow older things change beyond our control, we just have to adapt and be strong-minded to avoid being taken advantage of. Turn our weaknesses into strengths and carry on with life whilst learning from our experiences.

Something we need to remember is that the people around us only want what’s best for us. They want to see us grow, they want to see us succeed and they want to see us smile. These people raise our standards and contribute to us becoming the best version of ourselves we could ever be. We need to be forever thankful for these people, without their beautiful hearts and souls there is no way we could stand tall each day.
It is easy for us to have our judgment clouded by people’s manipulative actions, especially when we love them. However if you’re lucky enough to have someone who has the strength to see through that and be willing to help guide you away, consider yourself lucky because best friends like that are hard to find and extremely rare in this day and age.

We need to learn to love ourselves and trust our instincts. If we have bad vibes about a person, follow through with them. If something doesn’t sit right with you, don’t let it sit at all. If your gut is telling you something, believe in yourself. Do not allow the actions of others to allow you to lose trust in yourself. Your body knows exactly what is right, so trust these signs and listen to the voices because deep down you will always know what is right.

As much as we need to learn from our experiences, we also need to learn from those around us. Whether this is our parents, our friends, our teachers, or our families, each person we meet carries with them knowledge ever so different from our own.
When someone cares enough to guide you towards a better path, trust your instincts, have faith in them and walk the path together as you, yourself evolve through this experience.
Appreciate these people and keep them close, don’t ever take them for granted. What you learn from these people are lessons that will follow you throughout your entire life and their impact can change who you become. These people you surround yourself with are the backbone to your development, so make sure you keep a strong one.

Always remember that you can’t receive all life has to offer on your own, no woman becomes great on her own. It’s the people who you surround yourself with that give life the spark which makes life all that more amazing.

The Reality

Having a good heart is hard.
It is too easy to be taken advantage of. You open up and allow your weaknesses to be attacked each and every time.
People will realise ever too quickly that you will always be there.
They understand that you will never be too ‘busy’ for them because in the click of a finger you would do anything you could to make them smile.
They know you’ll always make excuses for them no matter how wrong they may be.
They know that you’ll accept the apologies you never receive and will always carry on as if nothing bad had ever happened.
They know that no matter how bad they treat you, you will always come running back.
They see you as much too easy to be used when they need you and then to just be thrown away once they’re done.

Having a good heart also makes it harder to accept the love that you deserve, because in reality you don’t see much love for yourself as you indulge it all into other people.
You are so caring. You are so loving. You will give everything with no expectations at all. You will put a smile on someone else’s face even if it means removing it from your own. You give up so much of your time just to help the ones you care for.
And at the end of the day, these are all beautiful qualities. But unfortunately, in the society we all live in, a good heart is rare and very hard to be matched.
We settle for less than we deserve because our expectations are so low.
We excuse others behaviour because we always have hope and faith that it may someday change, no matter how many times we are let down.
We all dream of that prince, when majority of us settle for the frog.

The saddest part about people like this is that it takes so long for them to crack.
It takes a lot for these people to turn their backs on the ones they love and finally walk away.
It takes a lot of damage for them to lose faith in the things they throw their hearts into. The inner strength these people need to reach that point and turn their back in order to find what they deserve, is beyond measurable.
A heart doesn’t turn cold unless it is pushed to its limits. And believe me when I say this, if you break a heart like this and take this girl for granted, the sun will no longer shine within your soul as you have given away gold whilst searching for silver.

Being selfless is wonderful and compliments the type of person that you are. But it is a quality which requires a strong heart and mind to carry, as it is so often where these types of people are hurt and left broken for reasons beyond their control.
Being hurt is no reflection on you, it is a reflection on the person who has put you in this position.
It is therefore important in situations like these that we don’t lose ourselves in the sight of loving others. Because you are beautiful, you are unique and you are worth it. Do not let anybody change your soul. It is YOURS.
Heal your heart and find the true meaning of love.
Find yourself a love that will never let you down.
Find yourself a love that will prioritise you.
Find yourself a love that will look at you each day and make you know that you are the only one for them.
Find yourself the love we read about in books and see in the movies.
Find yourself the love that puts a smile on your face day in and day out, and one that is there to wipe the tears on a stormy day.
Find the love that you truly deserve.

It may all take time and it may all be a roller coaster, but at the end of the day, if along the way you are lucky enough to find someone with a heart as pure as yours, don’t fear it. Appreciate it and allow it into your life. Knock those walls down and follow your instincts.
Go out there and ‘Trust the guidance of the universe’ because everything you need to know is being revealed to you in the perfect SPACE-TIME SEQUENCE. You’ll always get what you truly deserve.

The Comeback

At some point in our lives we all hit rock bottom.
It may feel as though you’ve fallen too far down to ever get back up.
It may seem like no amount of strength in the world will ever bring you back.
You may feel so lost that every path seems blocked.
You may feel so alone that even being in a room filled with people couldn’t change that.
You may feel like you’re speaking but never being heard.
Maybe too many people have let you down.
Maybe you’re disappointed in yourself for ending up this way.
Maybe you’re so emotionally scarred and damaged that you think you can’t be fixed.

I’m here to remind you that whatever it is, no matter how low you feel, your journey is all about the comeback.
Bouncing back from hard times and coming back better than ever.
Leaving the past in the past and not allowing it to determine who you are today. No matter what awful things have happened, no matter what you have done or said, no matter how bad people have treated you, no matter what scars you have on your heart…
There is always a way to get back up and survive.

In this world, we are all fighters. Every single day we battle a battle that nobody knows anything about. We fight through the hard times so that we can enjoy the beautiful moments on the other side.
Life is going to be hard, there is no doubt. You will always have to deal with the unexpected, and you will be knocked down from time to time. But always remember that even soldiers get knocked down too… But they then have the passion and the determination to get back up, so why don’t you?

Once you have lived through a negative experience that has changed you, it may take some time for you to heal your mind, body and soul and be free from the dark memories. But girl, you can do it.
Don’t let someone or something destroy you. Pick up your pride, dignity, heart and strength and get back up.
Come back better than ever. Turn your negative into a positive and define yourself the way you should be seen; strong and beautiful.
Please do not hide away, allow your wonderful friends and family to help you become the best you can be.
Independence may be important to you; you may feel like you can do it all on your own, and maybe you can. Just don’t block out the people who love you most, remember, they want to see your happy and healthy comeback too.
You are never alone no matter how low you may feel. Find your strength, find your voice and begin your climb all the way to the top, your smile will shine much brighter from up there.

Timings Always Right

Time is a difficult matter. They say that time is supposed to heal and that time is supposed to make everything better and relieve our problems.
But is it really time that does these things?

Personally, I don’t think so.
I don’t think any amount of time can make something better. Time can not heal your broken heart, it can’t make up your mind, and it can’t clear away your issues.
The only thing that can do all these things really is you.

You control your mind and you control your body.
You are responsible for your own healing and your own development. ‘Time’ cannot do any of this for you.
The way you allow your mind to think is the way you allow yourself to live.
If you constantly dwell over things, you are putting yourself in a negative state. It is like you are trapping yourself with no opportunity to move forward.
The only way to evolve as a person, is to change that mindset you have put yourself in.
it’s a small thing to do for a lifetime of happiness.

It is important to follow your heart in the moment. You can’t let somebody tell you when the right time to fall in love is. Somebody can’t tell you when to move on. The only person responsible for this is you.
It’s your heart and your feelings. Waiting for the ‘right time’ may cost you the ‘right guy’. You can not let your past hold you back, after all, it is your past… something that you’ve left behind in order to create a happier future (which you are currently living!)

There comes a time where you have to stop questioning everything that happens to you and just live in the moment. If something or someone brings you joy, go for it. If you’re offered an amazing opportunity, take it. If you have a good feeling about something, trust yourself and follow it. Do not allow your mind to overthink and overpower your happiness. Stop allowing yourself to be confused.
Deep down we all know what we want, and if you really have to question something, then chances are you don’t really want it. So the longer we take tossing and turning about things, the longer we are deterring our own happiness.

We all experience things at different stages of our lives, therefore nobody can sit there and tell you what path to take with your feelings.
Don’t allow the concept of time to deter you from new relationships, new beginnings and newfound happiness.
Be the pilot of your own life and create your own distinct path. Remember, life comes with no rulebook. You are not required to have a ‘happiness’ based around social norms. All you are required to do is listen to and follow your heart.

Heal your own heart

When you lose someone or something important to you, it may take some time for you to be at peace with the fact that things have changed.
You may see it as a negative experience in your life and question the reason such a ‘terrible’ thing has happened to you.
But at the end of the day, it has happened… the person you loved changed, the relationship you had was no longer the same, something has happened for that part of your life to no longer serve a purpose to you, and maybe not today, but one day it will all make perfect sense.

Now are you going to let that experience destroy you? Are you going to cry and complain about the way things have turned out? Are you going to let this hold a dark cloud over your life forever?
Or are you going to move on? Are you going to get up, kick it to the curb and find your happiness again? Recreate your life and remember all the little things you once enjoyed?

They are the things that you SHOULD be doing. There is no point in holding onto moments that no longer exist and moments that once destroyed you. People change and that’s a shame, but honey, you have the power to change as well, always remember that.
We live in a society where cheating is so common and loyalty is hard to find. But being so young with a whole life ahead of you should push you to realise how great you really are. You are better than that and you definitely don’t deserve that treatment, believe me.

You dont have to sit around and cry, you can turn your experience into a positive one! Realise what a diamond you really are and how it is truly their loss and not yours! Build that self confidence and be you!! Change your negative mindset into a positive one.
Things may be tough now, no denying that. But at the end of the day, the world turns no matter what, there are millions of great experiences waiting for you. Don’t hold back because you’ve lost something, go out there and find something better!
Not every boy in the world is the same and please do not let your mind trick you into believing that. There still are wonderful people out there, there is someone out there waiting for only you. You may find that you bump into them when you are least expecting it, but that’s half the excitement!
And someday, when you are ready to knock down those walls, you’ll remember how beautiful life really is, you’ll remember how incredible it is to meet a new person. Learning everything about them, staying up till early hours of the morning chatting to them, getting those butterflies in your stomach again.
Although this time, you’ll appreciate everything so much more and you’ll be so much more sure of everything because deep down you know this person would never do a thing to hurt you.

Now it’s your job to develop a stronger mind, a stronger soul and a stronger heart. Uncover the unknown. Show everybody what they are missing out on. In doing this you will find love. Love for the world, love for the simple things, maybe even love for another soul, but most importantly, love for yourself.
Heal your own heart and allow somebody else to nourish it (just not as much as you).

Saying yes to new beginnings

How do you know when you are ready? Ready for the next chapter in your life. How do you know when enough is enough and its time to walk away? How do you know when you’re ready to move on and let someone or something else into your life? How do you know when you’re making a right decision? What pushes us to turn the page?

Will we ever know? Will there always be a clear sign? Will our hearts and minds always match up?
I think sometimes we just have to take that leap of fate and hope for the best. Walk where the road may not always be smooth. Jump without knowing where you will land.

Taking these chances are hard, the fear of uncertainty. The fear of failure, the fear of heartbreak, the fear of regret.

Being hurt and damaged in the past makes opening up to new beginnings more of a struggle, but finding that power within yourself to push through and trust your instincts is a feeling greater than no other.
Something I’ve learned over the past 20 years is the fact that fear is normal. We all have our fears and our walls set up. We will never know what is ahead of us. It is up to you to prepare yourself in every way possible to be strong enough to take on the challenges life throws at you. It’s developing that positive headspace and internal trust within yourself. There will be times where you get hurt, you will make bad decisions, you will have your heart broken. But you know what girl? You will survive. You’ll learn and you’ll continue to grow. Dont let a bad experience scar your life negatively forever. Change that mindset and open a new door!!

Do what makes you happy NOW. Don’t worry about the future, focus on your mind and heart in the present moment. Unfortunanetly for some, your life isn’t a book, you can’t just turn the page and know exactly how things will turn out. However, you can make your journey one worth reading about.

Follow your heart. It’s easy for your head to get lost in the clouds, although your heart will always beat for what it wants. It’s your job to stay true to yourself and endure the path your heart desires.
Sure, you have to realise that your actions now may affect you in the long run, but trust yourself enough to know that you’re responsible for all of that. Build yourself an empire you will be happy with and proud of indefinitely.

Don’t fear the future. Live in the present. Stay true to yourself. You have one life, don’t waste it holding back on the past. Pick yourself up from hard times, learn from mistakes and mend your own heart. Come back better than ever. Start that next chapter of your life. SHINE GIRL

The year for you

2016 is coming to an end. It may have been a really good year for some, however a really bad year for others. But as the clock hits 12:00 and we enter into 2017, what have you learnt? What makes you any different from this day last year?

I had allowed majority of the year to get the better of me. It has only been the past three months where I have found my voice, reconnected with my soul and came in touch with who I really am.
That girl was lost for a very long time. Her smile wasn’t the same. Her mind wasn’t the same. Her stance wasn’t the same. She was gone.
That is why 2016 was such a special year. It was the year the girl finally returned. She returned better than ever.
Sure, she still has her weaknesses, as does everybody. But never again will she allow someone to attack them and manipulate her in any way.
See this girl is stronger. She is happier. She is beautiful.
She has a new vision, a new view of the world, new priorities and new goals. She also has the support network to get her to where she wants to be.
She’s got the world at her feet, and for the first time in a long time, she’s dancing and owning the spotlight like it’s her own.

So thank you 2016, for giving me a lesson to learn in order bounce back wiser, stronger and happier than ever. The journey is what you make it, take your experiences and turn them into positives. Make 2017 your year to shine, just like I will.