The winner

You turned your life into a game.
You gambled the best thing you ever had only to be left with nothing.
You didn’t win.
You didn’t come out on top.
And as for her, she didn’t win first prize either.
She pulled herself into a trap.
I guess in the end she got what she deserved…
She knew it all along, how twisted and manipulative you were.
I guess that’s where the game became even between us, I knew these things all along also, yet continued to live in this dark hole.

She laughs; she calls herself lucky, she claims to be ‘in love’.
She is none of those things.
Her laugh, it is fake.
Her luck, is misfortune in disguise.
She can only ever be in love with the idea of what ‘could be’.
Because I tell you, you can not change the devil.
You can not warm a heart that is ever so frozen.
You can not change a person forever.
Who they are is who they are, and they will do whatever it takes and say whatever it takes to get what they want.

She is blinded by the lies, the stories, the hope of ‘someday’. She can not see the truth, no matter how exposed to it she is.
Standing back from those shoes where I once stood, I see it all. Every word, every lie, every moment.
462 days of the same life crushing routine.
And only now I see it. Only once I allowed it to destroy me.

So as she smiles and sees herself as ‘above me’ because she ‘won’ the guy,
I laugh. As in the end, who is the true winner?
It’s the girl who got to escape, find her two feet again, rebuild her identity, change her life for the better, restore her health and get back in touch with her soul. Its me.

She may have the guy, but I have much more. I have my life back, my soul and my real happiness.

So I say thank you. Thank you for taking away the toxin in my life and allowing me to find my paradise. Thank you for showing me exactly what I don’t want or need in life, for allowing me to find my purpose.
Although after what you’ve done you do deserve this hurt and pain, you both deserve each other. But I hope you realise that what you have isn’t ‘forever’. A man like that is incapable of loving you the way you think he does.
So I tell you, don’t ever let another girl be the reason to break free. Listen to your inner voice, trust your instincts and become a winner. Never settle for less than you deserve.

I’m not saying its easy, I’m not saying its smooth.
I’m saying it’s worth it,
To walk away from something that serves you less than you are worthy of.
Know who you are, don’t let somebody define that for you, and live the life you dreamed of with people who genuinely respect and appreciate you.

Life is too short to waste on games and horrible people.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but when you feel yourself facing more negatives than positives, maybe you need to reconsider your definition of happiness.

Step back from the situation and think of the transformation you can make. It’s going to be a long journey, but one in which you can look back and be proud of. Don’t ever allow your broken heart to be the end of you, put it back together and make it your new beginning. I believe in you.

Advertisements

The road less travelled

In life, we all have goals. We all have ambitions and visions as to what we want to do with ourselves. Each day we all work to achieve this to end up in our idea of ‘paradise’.

I too have goals, I know what I want in life and I know how I am going to achieve it. I understand that there are inevitable bumps in the road that I will come across and I understand that sometimes I may feel down, I may feel defeated; I may feel so uncontrollably lost.

But then I remind myself of a few things…

 

You don’t always have to like everything all the time.
You don’t always have to have a smile on your face.
You don’t always have to have your shit together.
You don’t always have to seem so emotionally strong.

It is completely okay, not to be okay sometimes.
Take a step back. Look at yourself in the mirror.
Look deeper than just the reflection staring back at you.
Look into your soul.
Who are you? What do you want in life?
The world is yours, so what difference do you want to make?
What are you going to let define you?
These are the real questions.

 

The answers cannot be found in a book, no matter how hard you study.
These answers cannot be told by asking somebody else, no matter how close you may be.
These answers lie solely in you and the experiences you open yourself up to.

It’s amazing how different the world may seem once you know these answers like the back of your hand.

Your eyes become clearer, your smile becomes wider, your mind becomes purer and your heart becomes deeper.
You have the ability to change the world, one day at a time. Everything you do, matters.

 

Although sometimes, its not about changing the world.
Sometimes it becomes more about changing somebodies world.
Making someone feel less alone. Bringing someone a connection that they have never felt before. Touching their life in a way they never imagined. Letting them know that someone out there in this big world understands them and can relate to them.
Sometimes that comfort is all somebody needs to keep them going.

You have no idea how much just a few words can change somebodies life forever.

The idea of ‘karma’ states that what goes around, comes around.
In order for you to have self-realisation, you must have found inspiration somewhere, so share that. Light up somebodies darkest hours, by sharing your sky full of stars.

All some people need is to be reassured that they DO matter. They ARE loved. And they ARE special.

Everybody has something to battle in life; we all have our issues and rocky roads.
We are all warriors in our own worlds and we are all tougher than anything that comes our way.
Sometimes when we hit the ground of our lowest low, and we all do from time to time, we just need to be reminded of our beautiful qualities and strength in life.

 

So if you’re watering your own garden, don’t be afraid to share the watering can. You never know if the person next to you is suffering a drought. And you never know how far that little bit of water can get a person.
Don’t underestimate the power of kindness. You have the ability to change someone’s life, and that is a reward greater than no other.
Take the road less travelled and spread positive energy throughout. Believe in yourself and the ability of others, you cannot dream without belief, and at the end of the day who are you without a dream?

The Strongest Souls

It’s upsetting to realise that the strongest people we know are quite often the ones who have been through the most heartache and pain in their lives. It’s also even more upsetting to realise how young these people often are considering how much they have been through.
Their world could be crumbling down yet they still manage to live each day with a smile and stand there for the ones who need them the most.
They could have a million and one things on their mind, yet when you call for them they’re at your side in a heartbeat.
They seem so happy, yet behind that smile is a great deal of hurting that we know nothing about.

These are the people who deserve nothing but good fortune and happiness yet somehow encounter so many rocks and bumps on the way.
You often look at these people and admire them for how far they have come, how well they have managed and how truly great they are. You think to yourself ‘How do they do it?’ but the truth it, strength grows in those moments where you think about giving up. Where you think this is it and begin to throw in the towel. In those few moments where you think you cant go on, but you keep going anyway.

What these amazing people need to remember is that they are powerful. Their strong heart and resilient mind will get them through everything. They just have to believe.
God gives their hardest battles to those who can handle it. And it may seem unfair, but honey you have the love and support of so many people around you to help you through whatever comes your way. But the most important thing you need, is the love and support from yourself. Don’t let yourself stay down after you’ve been knocked, use your strength to get back up and fight back harder than ever because life is tough, but darling so are you. You are not what has happened to you, you are what you have chosen to become because of it.

It is okay not to be okay.
It is okay to need a push sometimes.
It is okay to cry.
And it is okay to hurt.
But it is not okay to do it alone.
It is okay for you to feel the way you feel, you do not need to justify this in any way.
All you need to do is accept it, deal with it and grow from it. Keep a positive mindset; keep that smile on your face. Keep being you.
Things may be rough, but storms don’t last forever. You’ll arrive at your paradise soon enough. Everything will fall into place. You will find love, you will be happy and healthy, you will be content with your memories and you’ll be surrounded by people who love and care for you dearly.
You are not alone on these cold days, you’ll always have a shoulder to lean on and somebody to help hold your umbrella in the rain when your arms get sore.
You will also always have somebody to share the sunshine with when the clouds have all disappeared. You are never alone, remember that.

In life it is important to look back and see how far you’ve come. You should always be proud of yourself.
Your strength inspires those around you and it should inspire you throughout your journey.
Trust me, you are greater than you think.
You just need to ‘keep on-keeping on’

Forgiveness

I know what it feels like
I know the horrible feeling you get inside your body when you know something is wrong but you continue with it anyway.
I know how it feels to convince yourself that you’re so wonderfully happy when in reality you’ve never been so low.
I know how it feels to give your all to someone who never even gave you an inch.
I know how it feels to make someone a priority when you were barely even an option.
I know how it feels to be lied to every single day, yet still look that person in the eye and believe every piece of shit they spoke every time.
But worst of all, I know how it feels to lose yourself in the process.

And what I have learned is, is that it’s all okay.
You once gave your all to someone who sucked you dry to the bone. And that’s fine. Let them keep that version of you, because honey I guarantee the version you are in the process of creating is much better and will eventually be untouchable.
What matters now are the steps you are taking to move past it and gain your power back.

The hardest part is believing that;
You deserve forgiveness,
You deserve peace,
You deserve happiness,
You deserve to be set free,

You do deserve the fresh start life is trying to give you. All you have to do is open yourself up and leap into it.

I know this because now I know how it feels to have someone who can make you truly laugh, someone who makes you feel wanted and important. Someone whose efforts go way beyond their words and whose constant support keeps you driven.
I now know how it feels to have someone look at you with such passion and someone whose touch can make any situation better no matter how hard it may seem.
Someone who just genuinely respects you.

See at the time I didn’t even realise that those horrible feelings I once felt were even all that bad. I had nothing to compare those experiences to, therefore it all seemed normal. I took being emotionally abused every single day as a form of ‘love’ and something I indulged myself into with everything I had. I exhausted myself every day, made myself physically sick until one day enough became enough and I found myself again.

But once I had walked through all that negativity in my life, I was open to new light. Because I had once felt all those things, I was determined to make the rest of what I would ever feel, different. Without those negative experiences, I would have no idea how special my life is today. My appreciation wouldn’t be what it is right now. So I learned to thank the past instead of regret it.

So my advice to you is to stop dwelling on the past and losing sleep over what is no longer important. Focus on the future and the changes you aim to make for yourself.
Reconnect with your self-worth and allow yourself to accept the past and the feelings you have been in touch with.
I know it sounds easy, and trust me, it is far from it. But I can’t express enough how good it feels to breathe the fresh air on the other side.
Understand that there will be bad days; there is no escaping the emotions you will have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. But in light of all of this, realise that eventually you have to forgive yourself and allow yourself to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you that things will not be bad forever. All you’ve done is fallen, we all fall, it’s now time to get back up and keep on keepin on. Forgive your past and create your future, you can do it.

The true measure of growth

We all need to realise that although certain things and people may bring us down or create negative energy in our lives, not every situation or encounter requires a reaction.
we don’t need to invest our time and effort into every little piece of nonsense. We do not need to have our emotions being drained each time we think of something that has happened in our lives or every time we unexpectedly run into someone who has done us wrong.
The end of a friendship or a relationship is just that, the end. Therefore we do not need to fear the existence of that person or let them alter our mindsets to think angry or sad thoughts. They no longer even need to cross our mind. They are a member of our past and a reason as to why we are so strong today.

 

We can get more satisfaction from things if we simply take a breath, and walk away. People should learn to move on with their lives without needing to continually come out ‘on top’. We don’t need to always fight and always have the last word; we do not always need to inflict pain and embarrassment upon other people. We can simply just leave it be. And I guarantee that no reaction at all will probably make the other person feel worse as they see you’ve moved on with your life and they no longer impact it.
This may sound easy, but may also be the hardest thing we could ever do. In that moment in time, your body may fill with anger. All the memories may come rushing back. Your heart sinks and revenge fills your mind. But at the end of the day, that is your past. Why would you allow yourself to fall back and destroy the progress you have made? Why would you risk your happiness in this moment just to make a few snarly comments and engage in an argument with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve your time? You may feel good for those 2 minutes, but you’ll feel even worse soon after.

Having the last say doesn’t make you any stronger. Personally I believe you are much stronger as a person if you don’t even give them the time of day, or satisfaction of knowing they still get to you.
They may have changed you, left you broken, inflicted pain upon you for a long time. They may have altered your feelings, thoughts and perceptions on the world. But that is a lesson. One in which you can take and move on from. An experience in which you have grown from. Sometimes these problems are necessary for us to regain our focus of what we want, need and what’s important to us in life.

 

The fear, our insecurities, our constant attention to the negatives is only going to bring us down. Why not rise up and find that confidence within us? Instead of making that person feel pain, make them feel regret for something they had and fucked up. That there is something that they will live with every day of their lives. To me, that’s more satisfaction than any petty argument.

Believe in the only thing that matters

The belief you have in yourself goes greater than anything else in this planet.
Close your eyes, what really matters to you? Where do you see your future heading?
Set your dreams, believe in them, have faith and work hard to achieve them.
No matter what obstacles get in your way, fight through them.
Be the best you can be.
Turn every ounce of pain into absolute power and show the world what a strong and independent person you are.
Turn your struggles into lessons and always come out on top.

Prove to everyone that you CAN achieve whatever you set your mind to.
Do whatever it takes.
Study hard and work hard, all while maintaining a social life.
Be the girl that people look at and say ‘How does she do it all?’
Better yet, do it all with a smile on your face no matter how hard it gets because at the end of the day, you know you’re going to make it.
Surround yourself with a solid friendship group that make and reflect who you are. Ones that you know will be right there cheering you on as you turn your head. However, never leave them behind because without this army, success will never mean a thing.

Don’t allow the past to ruin your confidence.
Look back, laugh and feel proud at how far you have come.
Maybe a few years ago you were the girl who couldn’t stand up and speak in front of the class, but now you’re the teacher. Now you’re happy enough to get up and share your ideas not only with the class, but the entire world.
Step by step we evolve each day. Every morning we are faced with new and exciting opportunities.
Use your strength each day to uncover these opportunities, take them head on and improve yourself.
Form an identity you will forever be proud of.
Be the positive influence in other people’s lives and make a difference.

 

Stay true to your word and have faith in your heart.
Follow what you believe to be right, not what others deem right for you.
Look at the stars each night and aim to shine brighter each day.
Look at the moon and aim to glow wider.
Look at the ocean and aim to be deeper.
Look at the trees and aim to stand taller.
Look at yourself and just simply believe.

The backbone

It’s crazy how the people closest to us seem to know us better than we know ourselves.
They notice the subtle changes in our lives, they know what makes us smile, what makes us laugh, they know what makes us uncomfortable, what makes us sad and what keeps us on edge.
They seem to see things coming from a mile away whilst we just sit back and take the bullet when we don’t want to listen to their advice.

They know what’s right for us and what’s wrong, and no matter how much they to try to interfere we always feel as though they don’t know what they are talking about. They say a situation is going to turn out a certain way, and funny enough, in time they end up being 100% right.

As young people we feel as though we know everything and we often don’t leave our minds open to other possibilities. (The negative ones)
We think all our friends are pure, all our boyfriends are perfect and see seem to think that everything is going to last forever.
This isn’t always reality, and I think that’s the hardest thing we ever realise in life.
As we grow older things change beyond our control, we just have to adapt and be strong-minded to avoid being taken advantage of. Turn our weaknesses into strengths and carry on with life whilst learning from our experiences.

Something we need to remember is that the people around us only want what’s best for us. They want to see us grow, they want to see us succeed and they want to see us smile. These people raise our standards and contribute to us becoming the best version of ourselves we could ever be. We need to be forever thankful for these people, without their beautiful hearts and souls there is no way we could stand tall each day.
It is easy for us to have our judgment clouded by people’s manipulative actions, especially when we love them. However if you’re lucky enough to have someone who has the strength to see through that and be willing to help guide you away, consider yourself lucky because best friends like that are hard to find and extremely rare in this day and age.

We need to learn to love ourselves and trust our instincts. If we have bad vibes about a person, follow through with them. If something doesn’t sit right with you, don’t let it sit at all. If your gut is telling you something, believe in yourself. Do not allow the actions of others to allow you to lose trust in yourself. Your body knows exactly what is right, so trust these signs and listen to the voices because deep down you will always know what is right.

As much as we need to learn from our experiences, we also need to learn from those around us. Whether this is our parents, our friends, our teachers, or our families, each person we meet carries with them knowledge ever so different from our own.
When someone cares enough to guide you towards a better path, trust your instincts, have faith in them and walk the path together as you, yourself evolve through this experience.
Appreciate these people and keep them close, don’t ever take them for granted. What you learn from these people are lessons that will follow you throughout your entire life and their impact can change who you become. These people you surround yourself with are the backbone to your development, so make sure you keep a strong one.

Always remember that you can’t receive all life has to offer on your own, no woman becomes great on her own. It’s the people who you surround yourself with that give life the spark which makes life all that more amazing.